Friday, October 01, 2004
you
wow. the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. watch that on a flight from hong kong to chicago in the middle of the night. watch that watch it watch it!
the sun has risen. we helped it. we're over the north pacific where the latitude of seattle and the longitude of juneau intersect. we have gone 6027 miles. alexander pope.
for if, in the course of time, commonplace and impersonal ideas are automatically reinforced while unusual ideas fade away, so that almost everyone, with a mechanical certainty, is bound to become increasingly mediocre, this explains why, despite the thousandfold possibilities available to everyone, the average human being is in fact average.
---the man without qualities, p 121
fuck you fuck you it's all so relative are you writing in the dark i hadn't even started why not turn it on there's no excuse that's no excuse for anything everything there's nothing.
i'm writing in the room next to the room it's only poetry it's only ever poetry but i'm too lazy to put in into lines. no there's too much there's so much my poems are so big the scope of my projects is so big they look like novels. my poems look llike novels. i'm so weird my novels look like poems. i mean my novels are poems. what look like novels are mpoems. what does it look like.
i can't be me who am i i don't know. i'm bursting with i don't know who i am and it's consuming making me insane i'm already insane reality won't cooperate. we create our own if i created this why does it suck it doesn't suck so much what's lunch it's green and mush.
there's something in my neck in vertebrae there's paisley in my vertebrae. spinning a spiraling around together like yin and yangviridiana finally gave up. so what he's dead. i don't want to tell you. i'm not gonna tell you i'm not saying anything i was green and pink. can you dig it i'm so brilliant i'm so good i'm driving you away in total harmony with the moment i'm chris benoit i'm so good at making you hate me you hate me even though i'm trying.
i'm using this pen and i feel better. i'm sick of the man without qualities i hate it for some reason there's something i hate about it i feel like it's putting me in a cage it's building around me. if i grow i will expand into the bars and press against them and ooze disease.
and everything is fine no one is freaking out from me i've caused no freaking out just love it's only love going on my right leg is spasming.
there is i there is only i and i are we and that is love. papermate is back that was papermate but this is right, brothers this is the wright brothers this is the one that will fly. and i will get up and i will spread my wings and i will soar they will be wings of joy the will be wings of beams of joy shining onto you and you and you and everyone. you are everything and everything is you.
my sister is married. it's something we can do in this world society it is a right. we have the power to get married why not? the only one who's good to me is nadia back to nadia despite her tiny weakness. it makes my tiny. her weakness makes my tiny. i used "real" names for a while but that was stewpid i write reality not fiction. i'm tired of making sense i tire of it there's no sense to make actually there's no sense to make. you're the one making sense all the time. you just keep going around making sense all the time it's you're the one. who does it?
when is this written all the time what is the state the state of mind who is the author it's a poem not your mind. it's in your mind i don't mind oh yes you do. you mind. i mind you. i mined and mined and gold poured out black gold and it got you all oily. if you gave out all your oil wells you'd be poor.
what are you gonna do when you're poor, huh? you got nothin. nothin you got nothin. nothin but noodles. and then they coalesce into form. noodles become brains like brain coral. thoughts come out cause that's what brains are for. how can we think if we don't have brains. i didn't write this.
i don't brush my teeth sometimes. they're all used to this exhuberant, happy me i don't wanna be i don't wanna be me. i gotta be me but i don't wanna. time to eat.
settle into what feels right
don't take it easy take it hard
my neck is killing me
i try to relax
soon it will be time for action
why do i write in this pose i lie on my side left foot in the air against right knee left hand propping head with a pillow under my ribcage and the paper diagonally out so i have to extend my arm to write. my write arm.
the sun has risen. we helped it. we're over the north pacific where the latitude of seattle and the longitude of juneau intersect. we have gone 6027 miles. alexander pope.
for if, in the course of time, commonplace and impersonal ideas are automatically reinforced while unusual ideas fade away, so that almost everyone, with a mechanical certainty, is bound to become increasingly mediocre, this explains why, despite the thousandfold possibilities available to everyone, the average human being is in fact average.
---the man without qualities, p 121
fuck you fuck you it's all so relative are you writing in the dark i hadn't even started why not turn it on there's no excuse that's no excuse for anything everything there's nothing.
i'm writing in the room next to the room it's only poetry it's only ever poetry but i'm too lazy to put in into lines. no there's too much there's so much my poems are so big the scope of my projects is so big they look like novels. my poems look llike novels. i'm so weird my novels look like poems. i mean my novels are poems. what look like novels are mpoems. what does it look like.
i can't be me who am i i don't know. i'm bursting with i don't know who i am and it's consuming making me insane i'm already insane reality won't cooperate. we create our own if i created this why does it suck it doesn't suck so much what's lunch it's green and mush.
there's something in my neck in vertebrae there's paisley in my vertebrae. spinning a spiraling around together like yin and yang
i'm using this pen and i feel better. i'm sick of the man without qualities i hate it for some reason there's something i hate about it i feel like it's putting me in a cage it's building around me. if i grow i will expand into the bars and press against them and ooze disease.
and everything is fine no one is freaking out from me i've caused no freaking out just love it's only love going on my right leg is spasming.
there is i there is only i and i are we and that is love. papermate is back that was papermate but this is right, brothers this is the wright brothers this is the one that will fly. and i will get up and i will spread my wings and i will soar they will be wings of joy the will be wings of beams of joy shining onto you and you and you and everyone. you are everything and everything is you.
my sister is married. it's something we can do in this world society it is a right. we have the power to get married why not? the only one who's good to me is nadia back to nadia despite her tiny weakness. it makes my tiny. her weakness makes my tiny. i used "real" names for a while but that was stewpid i write reality not fiction. i'm tired of making sense i tire of it there's no sense to make actually there's no sense to make. you're the one making sense all the time. you just keep going around making sense all the time it's you're the one. who does it?
when is this written all the time what is the state the state of mind who is the author it's a poem not your mind. it's in your mind i don't mind oh yes you do. you mind. i mind you. i mined and mined and gold poured out black gold and it got you all oily. if you gave out all your oil wells you'd be poor.
what are you gonna do when you're poor, huh? you got nothin. nothin you got nothin. nothin but noodles. and then they coalesce into form. noodles become brains like brain coral. thoughts come out cause that's what brains are for. how can we think if we don't have brains. i didn't write this.
i don't brush my teeth sometimes. they're all used to this exhuberant, happy me i don't wanna be i don't wanna be me. i gotta be me but i don't wanna. time to eat.
settle into what feels right
don't take it easy take it hard
my neck is killing me
i try to relax
soon it will be time for action
why do i write in this pose i lie on my side left foot in the air against right knee left hand propping head with a pillow under my ribcage and the paper diagonally out so i have to extend my arm to write. my write arm.
