that's my mama

tuesday, august 17, 2004.

i'm gonna start dating everything correctly. it may or may not work. i've tried it before. but anyway it would be nice if the date on the blog corresponded to the date of the (fictional) event of which i write.

it's morning in hong kong. i'm at the chunking mansions. wong kar wai is proud of me. last night, i saw kim, here at the traveller's hostel, on the 16th floor. she talked too much at shantel's party.

i wanna fuck bai yun.

i been hangin out with jakub, from poland. a lawyer. earnest, sensitive guy. we happen to be going to guangzhou on the same day. so we'll travel together. he's meeting a friend. they'll stay with me. i can stay with jakub in warsaw. i would like to. he has a cold. he's still asleep. it's ten-thirty. he sneezed. i think he's waking up.

today i get my visa. i fuckin hope so. yes.

the guy that runs the place is william. early 30's but won't say how old he is. jakub is awake. maybe late 30's. he's here now. he gave me a processed angel-food cake. layer of cream. i'm william's favorite.

he's a masseur. he's very good. he wants to fuck me. now the story gets interesting.

william has trouble being serious. he's seen and heard everything before, and he's tired of it. so he doesn't wanna listen to anything you say. also there is deep pain or regret hiding somewhere, which he masks by acting like a clown. he was hurt by someone close to him when he was young.

so i ask him where i can get good food. he laughs makes a joke he's very funny. he's good at what he does. i know it won't get me anywhere but i ask him what's the best indian restaurant in chungking mansions. ha ha ha.

chunking mansions is a 16-story labrynth of hotels, apartments, shops, and restaurants. most of the restaurants are indian. also there are pakistani and nepalese, et al. there are 5 elevator shafts, each with a pair of elevators. no two elevators go to the same place. the ones that are next to eachother only stop at every other floor. only 5 people can ride at a time. the place is a fuckin zoo. giant lines develop at the elevators, maintained by security guards. the stairways are stained with blood.

it is in the center of chaos. madness spirals out into neon-plated kowloon. you're seen the pictures. the first four floors of every building are shops and restaurants. and two levels of basement. space is at a premium.

so william walks in and says "you wanna get some lunch?" ok we go to a dim sum house it's fuckin delicious. jakub comes too. bitter melon shark fin soup tofu skin dumplings shrimp dumplings crispy fried noodles with ostrich and black bean sauce it's fuckin delicious. i said that already. jakub goes to the internet cafe. william and i are all of a sudden best friends we watch the sixth sense. lots of fun. later we get bread and meat and cheese from a deli and have a feast the meat is salami the cheese is edam and gouda the salami is hungarian and milano and we had foie gras. then we watched a terrible movie called the awakening starring robert deniro greg kinnear and rebecca romjin-stamos.

before dinner he gave me a massage total neck, back, shoulder and worked the legs some. totally professional and it felt amazingly good i have this chronic neck and shoulder pain which was completely relieved. we went down to the deli and i was floating.

after the movie he starts workin on my feet. reflexology. does both feet. turns me over does the back. turns me over does the front. turns me over does the legs . . . he goes all the way down the back, hips, butt, legs . . . it's a real massage it's not fondling maybe he gets off on it but i don't care my muscles haven't been this relieved ever.

back over to work on my front. at this point i'm feeling a little weird but i'm too relaxed to react because before he turned me over we were talking about almodovar and he tells me about talk to her where the doctor or somebody rapes the woman in a coma and that was my clue but this massage is helping me big time and i'm not thinking straight. he's massaging my shoulders and chest they do that it's called a full body massage and he's straddling me. he's working particularly hard on my shoulders it's a problem area for me and he sits on my lower stomach for a second. ok whatever then he moves to my ribs it's a very good massage but this time he sits on my crotch i mean right next to my dick. and he starts to press his ass into my pelvic bone as he works into my ribs all in rhythm and at this point i raise my hands. he gets off to his knees and keeps working i say i gotta take a break. so i don't know maybe he didn't realize maybe he just wanted to see if i wanted to fuck him i don't know i don't hold it against him we talked for a few hours about life and deep subjects he has lived in this life taken swigs from the cup you can do what you want and he knows it and here the story ends.