Sunday, October 17, 2004

 

dirty

i've got an idea. let's see if i can not write. yeah i was lying there going "i'm not a writer. who'm i kidding?" and i was like i know! i'll see how long i can not write. so whaddyouthink? i immediately wanted to write about that. yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! i'm a writer! what the fuck who wants to be a writer.

it's not good for you it's not good for your life everybody thinks you're a lazy slut. i may be a slut, but i'm not lazy. i'm not even a slut. i never get laid. i'm such a fuckin pussy. i'm like "oh no! i don't want to get laid! it's not nice!" fuckin fuck everybody wants to fuck and it's the job of the male to initiate the action. that's how the species works.

fuck fuck fuck i already did that. i wrote a book about it. oh yeah it turned into a disgusting love story. or two. something like that. yeah so then i said no more fucking and i went to china and i didn't fuck anyone and i came back and i fucked nadia. i should keep careful track of names to preserve the illusion of reality but i don't cause i'm messy. i like it messy. i like it stinky and sloppy with fluids and animal parts animal parts?

everytime i think about fuckin someone i get this pain in my neck cause nadia got these hooks in me she makes me think she owes me she i worry i donwanna hurter.

i don wanna fuck somebody else some other body and have to tell her about it we talk on the phone. why do we talk on the phone because we are emotional masochists it's completely insane she reeds my book she's greedy for people sayin shit about her. why can't i write better?

she especially likes the writing about her that is not particularly complimentary. not particularly compli she likes the not particularly complimentary.

if they're not being nice then you know they're being honest.

are you crazy?

are you?
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