Saturday, August 07, 2004
transformation
i used to fuck. what happened to me?
what happened to me?
i'm a woman. i've become a woman. i no longer carry a spear. i no longer stab it wherever i can. i have studied women so much i've become one. maybe i've studied women more than baseball.
it's 2:15. yes it's that same night. i can break it chapters if i want. indeed. i hate that word. indeed is a word you use if you want to sound scholarly. fuck all you scholars and all you fucks you're all secretly afraid you're a bunch of bullshit well you are. i got news for ya. fuck the scholars and the fucks.
fuck it all fuck everybody no more fucking. fuck it. fucking. fuck it. fucking fuck it. fuck fucking.
write it all away. you got somethin you write it away. you don't write it down you write it away. and now that we've opened the channels we know, got flow. there was some mucous in there or something. had to use a snot broom. one of those heavy-duty brooms that you push forward not a dust mop you know what i'm talking about. it's hot. sometimes i turn on the air conditioning i like it when the air conditioning's been on but it's off. usually i sit and sweat.
at least i'm not watching tv. i watched boxing today i always look away for the knockout. i mean, i'm watching watching concentrating and my mind wanders i look away and BOOM
someone's on the floor it's me i'm on a mattress on the floor in the living room i like to be in the living room now even though i don't run the fan anymore and the air conditioning is in the bedrooms. i'm glad i don't live at the kindergarten. that would be hell.
i gotta stretch i got this thing in my neck amine says he's got a friend she'll do it for free then she'll fuck me she's nice amine is a sleazy french mother fucker.
2:30 i must be butter what am i gonna do i'll make kevin youkilis my third baseman jorge cantu jose lopez rickie weeks middle infield there's also jj hardy and bj upton. david dejesus and wily mo pen~a center field alexis rios with the stick i need a couple more hitters no sweat jeff mathis at catcher and maybe dioner navarro. talk to me in two years.
i gotta take a shower i'm sweatin like a motherfucker i gotta hose off. i'm afraid to leave the paper though cause at any moment i could sit up and spit up all over this shit and you'll say wow! like you're watching it which you are. cuz you are. the star. of the show. only you it's always you.
we take cold showers around here cause the hot water is way. too. hot i got sores in my mouth one sore right now cause i bit my lip i got a tooth. on the bottom that protrudes and it chews on my lip no, it's not good. it's bad.
"i always get that wrong."
i have rice. i could make eggs and rice. doesn't that sound delicious? i need to buy sheets. need. villagers cook rice in little earthen bowls individual-size. clara's mother has found her teacher clara's one of my kids her mother is zhang a man. she's a pianist with students whom she wants to learn english i'm artistic she's very excited. i am too. finally some freedom finally some like-mindedness.
maybe i'll quit the whole canadian international gig i keep talking about it sometimes i do things.
this guy dean wants me in commercials i gotta send him a photo i don't know how not that that's an excuse. somehow life keeps goes no time keeps on slippin. time. keeps on slippin.
into the future what are we gonna . . . who? what are we gonna i got to you got to we got to they got to the orange juice is still open. the time is 2:50 the sacrifice is now. don't you see the sacrifice is now? do you want a better seat? we sacrifice our life in this physical world for immortality in the next. let me explain. no, you don't understand. when you write you are sacrificing that time which is your life. the time of your life. then you live on. your words become thoughts they are red they live on they reduplicate fornicate mix body fluids it is the future. there is no here and now it is all wrapped up it is a gift to the future it's love. do you get it?
good.
what happened to me?
i'm a woman. i've become a woman. i no longer carry a spear. i no longer stab it wherever i can. i have studied women so much i've become one. maybe i've studied women more than baseball.
it's 2:15. yes it's that same night. i can break it chapters if i want. indeed. i hate that word. indeed is a word you use if you want to sound scholarly. fuck all you scholars and all you fucks you're all secretly afraid you're a bunch of bullshit well you are. i got news for ya. fuck the scholars and the fucks.
fuck it all fuck everybody no more fucking. fuck it. fucking. fuck it. fucking fuck it. fuck fucking.
write it all away. you got somethin you write it away. you don't write it down you write it away. and now that we've opened the channels we know, got flow. there was some mucous in there or something. had to use a snot broom. one of those heavy-duty brooms that you push forward not a dust mop you know what i'm talking about. it's hot. sometimes i turn on the air conditioning i like it when the air conditioning's been on but it's off. usually i sit and sweat.
at least i'm not watching tv. i watched boxing today i always look away for the knockout. i mean, i'm watching watching concentrating and my mind wanders i look away and BOOM
someone's on the floor it's me i'm on a mattress on the floor in the living room i like to be in the living room now even though i don't run the fan anymore and the air conditioning is in the bedrooms. i'm glad i don't live at the kindergarten. that would be hell.
i gotta stretch i got this thing in my neck amine says he's got a friend she'll do it for free then she'll fuck me she's nice amine is a sleazy french mother fucker.
2:30 i must be butter what am i gonna do i'll make kevin youkilis my third baseman jorge cantu jose lopez rickie weeks middle infield there's also jj hardy and bj upton. david dejesus and wily mo pen~a center field alexis rios with the stick i need a couple more hitters no sweat jeff mathis at catcher and maybe dioner navarro. talk to me in two years.
i gotta take a shower i'm sweatin like a motherfucker i gotta hose off. i'm afraid to leave the paper though cause at any moment i could sit up and spit up all over this shit and you'll say wow! like you're watching it which you are. cuz you are. the star. of the show. only you it's always you.
we take cold showers around here cause the hot water is way. too. hot i got sores in my mouth one sore right now cause i bit my lip i got a tooth. on the bottom that protrudes and it chews on my lip no, it's not good. it's bad.
"i always get that wrong."
i have rice. i could make eggs and rice. doesn't that sound delicious? i need to buy sheets. need. villagers cook rice in little earthen bowls individual-size. clara's mother has found her teacher clara's one of my kids her mother is zhang a man. she's a pianist with students whom she wants to learn english i'm artistic she's very excited. i am too. finally some freedom finally some like-mindedness.
maybe i'll quit the whole canadian international gig i keep talking about it sometimes i do things.
this guy dean wants me in commercials i gotta send him a photo i don't know how not that that's an excuse. somehow life keeps goes no time keeps on slippin. time. keeps on slippin.
into the future what are we gonna . . . who? what are we gonna i got to you got to we got to they got to the orange juice is still open. the time is 2:50 the sacrifice is now. don't you see the sacrifice is now? do you want a better seat? we sacrifice our life in this physical world for immortality in the next. let me explain. no, you don't understand. when you write you are sacrificing that time which is your life. the time of your life. then you live on. your words become thoughts they are red they live on they reduplicate fornicate mix body fluids it is the future. there is no here and now it is all wrapped up it is a gift to the future it's love. do you get it?
good.
