Thursday, August 19, 2004
fuck
ok no more of that crappy little notebook. i bought 3 pads of paper. total price: 37 1/2 cents.
dean just called. he wants that photo! "any photo will do. as long as it is a clear picture of yourself."
what is this is this writing? i saw donna today but only for i don't know 45 minutes she was like maybe i should go home and we can play baseball tomorrow. ok but you donh't have to go home or i could go with you i guess you wanna go home i don't exactly understand the whole thing that's going on she was talking about how excited she was to play baseball but then it rained. does that mean we can't do anything? i don't understand but i decided to let it go. no need to be obsessive. i guess. i mean who cares (tenet 2: do what you want), but whatever. so we sat and talked we talked and talked everytime i figured i should go she asked another question or furthered a point why does she want to go home? i guess it was her last day of work she wants to rest. i don't know. i don't know. it's hard being in love and not fucking. it shouldn't be. it's hard because no one's used to it. it's a very confusing time. one of us is 20 years old with a boyfriend and is love with a 30-year-old who's like nothing she's ever seen before. the other is 30 and has seen so many of these fresh-faced young things with eyes full of wonder and here's another one they get you every time. it could be something special. but maybe this one will be special because we don't fuck. and by fuck i mean sleep together naked.
dean just called. he wants that photo! "any photo will do. as long as it is a clear picture of yourself."
what is this is this writing? i saw donna today but only for i don't know 45 minutes she was like maybe i should go home and we can play baseball tomorrow. ok but you donh't have to go home or i could go with you i guess you wanna go home i don't exactly understand the whole thing that's going on she was talking about how excited she was to play baseball but then it rained. does that mean we can't do anything? i don't understand but i decided to let it go. no need to be obsessive. i guess. i mean who cares (tenet 2: do what you want), but whatever. so we sat and talked we talked and talked everytime i figured i should go she asked another question or furthered a point why does she want to go home? i guess it was her last day of work she wants to rest. i don't know. i don't know. it's hard being in love and not fucking. it shouldn't be. it's hard because no one's used to it. it's a very confusing time. one of us is 20 years old with a boyfriend and is love with a 30-year-old who's like nothing she's ever seen before. the other is 30 and has seen so many of these fresh-faced young things with eyes full of wonder and here's another one they get you every time. it could be something special. but maybe this one will be special because we don't fuck. and by fuck i mean sleep together naked.
