Monday, August 09, 2004
diaphanous folds
the world is shadow and we think it's real. turn away from the shadow. turn away from the shadow turn away from the shadow there's a third dimension, you flatlanders!
yes it's fascinating the shadow is fascinating we really want it to be real. really. want it.
to be real. we really want it.
take a look. look and see. catch a glimpse. you know. you see. you know it when you see it and you still hold on with all your might hold on to the shadow.
i'm just trying to help.
"help yourself!"
help me help you.
mmm i would love some cornbread and collard greens right now i am not kidding. maybe some black-eyed peas this shit is powerful it's just food why can't we get away from it there's food everywhere it's just as good if mo mo mo went to america he'd wish he had dumplings and pork buns. dumplings and pork buns sound pretty good right now. someone's making them somewhere. i bet i could find them. i bet i could.
i haven't had a pizza yet but it's just a matter of time. it's probably just a matter of time.
i haven't had mcdonald's. i don't think i will. i haven't had kentucky fried chicken. that sounds pretty good. biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy. i know it's all cheap and shitty but it's all i got. i could make it. it would taste better. i know how to cook.
so the story with jenny the cab drops us off in the middle of nowhere. where's tai he station this way we walk. motorcycles offer rides they want our money we'll walk.
"it's too far to walk."
we walk and ask people where's tai he station and we walk and we ask and it's this way we walk and we ask. it's a long way. it really is a long way. we walk for, what, an hour and a half? in the middle of nowhere where the fuck are we who the fuck knows.
there it is! a beacon of light shining giant characters tai he toll station we made it!
who are these freaky white boys talking to toll booth workers walking up here where did they come from? the police are uneasy i walk from booth to booth. no jenny. do you know cheng jun yan? no nobody knows her. she works here. the police have caught up to me. i show them my page of information.
"oh you want the tai he toll station of the beijing highway!" great there's another fucking tai he station.
we get in a cab. we drive around. this cabbie is a complete moron. how can you not know where the beijing expressway is? how? what. the. fuck?! we drive back we get directions from the police officers. he still can't find it. we've been looking for over an hour. the bill is over a hundred kuai. fuck fuck fuck what the fuck?!
what do we do we go home. we failed. we tried and we failed. we blew it. we're fucked. by which i mean i. i'm fucked.
the next morning i tell her on the phone she calls. she said she would and she does.
"i love you. i want to marry you." one way to ask a question in chinese is to give two options. so i say "you want not want."
"b-b-b-b-ga b-b-ka b-qi b-gi ki g-b-k!" i don't know what she said it was some kind of unintelligible exclamation it was priceless. she spoke english: "too quickly!"
baby we ain't got much time i'm leaving on the train to kunming in a couple of hours.
"i don't have any money!"
i'll give you whatever you want i have an answer for everything i am in top form but she can't wrap her mind around it's too much she's in shock. she can't imagine her life being that good. she wants to hold on to her reality. she doesn't know how to not.
and i'm lying on the floor you gotta pack caesar i'm useless.
yes it's fascinating the shadow is fascinating we really want it to be real. really. want it.
to be real. we really want it.
take a look. look and see. catch a glimpse. you know. you see. you know it when you see it and you still hold on with all your might hold on to the shadow.
i'm just trying to help.
"help yourself!"
help me help you.
mmm i would love some cornbread and collard greens right now i am not kidding. maybe some black-eyed peas this shit is powerful it's just food why can't we get away from it there's food everywhere it's just as good if mo mo mo went to america he'd wish he had dumplings and pork buns. dumplings and pork buns sound pretty good right now. someone's making them somewhere. i bet i could find them. i bet i could.
i haven't had a pizza yet but it's just a matter of time. it's probably just a matter of time.
i haven't had mcdonald's. i don't think i will. i haven't had kentucky fried chicken. that sounds pretty good. biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy. i know it's all cheap and shitty but it's all i got. i could make it. it would taste better. i know how to cook.
so the story with jenny the cab drops us off in the middle of nowhere. where's tai he station this way we walk. motorcycles offer rides they want our money we'll walk.
"it's too far to walk."
we walk and ask people where's tai he station and we walk and we ask and it's this way we walk and we ask. it's a long way. it really is a long way. we walk for, what, an hour and a half? in the middle of nowhere where the fuck are we who the fuck knows.
there it is! a beacon of light shining giant characters tai he toll station we made it!
who are these freaky white boys talking to toll booth workers walking up here where did they come from? the police are uneasy i walk from booth to booth. no jenny. do you know cheng jun yan? no nobody knows her. she works here. the police have caught up to me. i show them my page of information.
"oh you want the tai he toll station of the beijing highway!" great there's another fucking tai he station.
we get in a cab. we drive around. this cabbie is a complete moron. how can you not know where the beijing expressway is? how? what. the. fuck?! we drive back we get directions from the police officers. he still can't find it. we've been looking for over an hour. the bill is over a hundred kuai. fuck fuck fuck what the fuck?!
what do we do we go home. we failed. we tried and we failed. we blew it. we're fucked. by which i mean i. i'm fucked.
the next morning i tell her on the phone she calls. she said she would and she does.
"i love you. i want to marry you." one way to ask a question in chinese is to give two options. so i say "you want not want."
"b-b-b-b-ga b-b-ka b-qi b-gi ki g-b-k!" i don't know what she said it was some kind of unintelligible exclamation it was priceless. she spoke english: "too quickly!"
baby we ain't got much time i'm leaving on the train to kunming in a couple of hours.
"i don't have any money!"
i'll give you whatever you want i have an answer for everything i am in top form but she can't wrap her mind around it's too much she's in shock. she can't imagine her life being that good. she wants to hold on to her reality. she doesn't know how to not.
and i'm lying on the floor you gotta pack caesar i'm useless.
