Friday, July 16, 2004
whoa blogger works
some days, you just get lucky. one day, i didn't get lucky. that was the day i went to find jenny. it was before we left for kunming so it was june early june it was monday three days after i met her the day after our date the day of the morning after we said goodbye.
she called. from work. "when are you leaving for kunming?"
"tomorrow."
"will you come back?"
"i don't know."
more talking i don't remember pointless talking i took over like pulling teeth i got her location heqin tollway station beijing expressway talk talk talk i'll call you tomorrow ok.
i'm sitting there like i always sit there after jenny's gone i sit there
"what am i gonna do?"
friday i said "i wish i could copy myself and one of me marry diana and one of me marry jenny." it's not cool to play with people's heads like that you're reading this blog i love you too baby.
what the fuck is my problem here i go no it's not good reading it's self-absorbed loathing it's wallowing in self-pity. fuck it it's too late it's here i go i go whoa sometimes, no i know whoa sometimes i know what i'm doing sometimes i write good stuff sometimes i write it in my head sometimes i make them with my mouth. i can't remember i can't be in the business of remembering because once you remember it it's dead. it's got to come from now so now to get to now you got to i got to we got to go through then we got to go through all the bullshit in the way all the remembering we got to cut it up with a machete like muslims at a mall in thailand. can we offend people? i hope so. nigger. you fuckin nigger. how's that. there's a word. you can say. just say a word. it offends. nigger. nigger raper. what is the image? a nigger who rapes? that is the image isn't it? isn't it, fanon? yeah this guy from martinique i work with him he's got a coke habit i teach his kids he knows fanon. he said "he's a motherfucker. i don't know what the dude is talking about, though." racism is here in china what do we got we got africans what do they do they hustle. import-export. that's what they all say. yeah it's convenient guangzhou is the place it's the place in the world where all the shit's made what do you got you got poor people you got poor people what do they do they work. they work shit jobs they make all kinds of shit in factories and it's cheap as shit. so other poor people come here not as poor or not even poor they gotta get here for one thing they gotta have connections for another thing so the business-minded the smart hustlers buy this cheap shit and send it somewhere else. presto! you got money. what else can you do you can hustle you got africans on the streets selling weed they can get you what you want they know russians.
is it racism? sure. are people gonna make money? whenever and however they can.
friday was the day i met jenny. monday caesar says "go find her. then you'll know."
so i'm don quixote he's sancho he carries the pack we work out a driver with the hotel we wait there he is it's a cab maybe not off we go. 60 kuai is the deal.
this guy has no idea where he's going he drives around we don't care flat rate he'll find it eventually he stops the car. we're at an on-ramp.
"it's up this ramp."
"ok, go up the ramp."
"i can't, it'll cost money to go through the toll gate."
"i don't understand."
people here speak this fucked-up chinese this ain't beijing and what the fuck a cab driver don't know where the fuck he's going he impatiently explained to me that the gate was gonna cost money and there was no way to turn around so he would have to drive to the next exit and turn around and pay again and all we had to do was walk up the ramp i don't know why i bought it we were new in town i wasn't on my game i forgot that in china everyone's trying to screw you all the time so we paid him and left. he couldn't find the fucking place a cabdriver can't find *the* major expressway so he cashed in. all we had to do was walk up the ramp and look and then pay him but we didn't think of that. like i said, we were new in town.
so we walk up the ramp and what do you know that ain't it what a fuckin surprise.
tune in next time for further adventures.
she called. from work. "when are you leaving for kunming?"
"tomorrow."
"will you come back?"
"i don't know."
more talking i don't remember pointless talking i took over like pulling teeth i got her location heqin tollway station beijing expressway talk talk talk i'll call you tomorrow ok.
i'm sitting there like i always sit there after jenny's gone i sit there
"what am i gonna do?"
friday i said "i wish i could copy myself and one of me marry diana and one of me marry jenny." it's not cool to play with people's heads like that you're reading this blog i love you too baby.
what the fuck is my problem here i go no it's not good reading it's self-absorbed loathing it's wallowing in self-pity. fuck it it's too late it's here i go i go whoa sometimes, no i know whoa sometimes i know what i'm doing sometimes i write good stuff sometimes i write it in my head sometimes i make them with my mouth. i can't remember i can't be in the business of remembering because once you remember it it's dead. it's got to come from now so now to get to now you got to i got to we got to go through then we got to go through all the bullshit in the way all the remembering we got to cut it up with a machete like muslims at a mall in thailand. can we offend people? i hope so. nigger. you fuckin nigger. how's that. there's a word. you can say. just say a word. it offends. nigger. nigger raper. what is the image? a nigger who rapes? that is the image isn't it? isn't it, fanon? yeah this guy from martinique i work with him he's got a coke habit i teach his kids he knows fanon. he said "he's a motherfucker. i don't know what the dude is talking about, though." racism is here in china what do we got we got africans what do they do they hustle. import-export. that's what they all say. yeah it's convenient guangzhou is the place it's the place in the world where all the shit's made what do you got you got poor people you got poor people what do they do they work. they work shit jobs they make all kinds of shit in factories and it's cheap as shit. so other poor people come here not as poor or not even poor they gotta get here for one thing they gotta have connections for another thing so the business-minded the smart hustlers buy this cheap shit and send it somewhere else. presto! you got money. what else can you do you can hustle you got africans on the streets selling weed they can get you what you want they know russians.
is it racism? sure. are people gonna make money? whenever and however they can.
friday was the day i met jenny. monday caesar says "go find her. then you'll know."
so i'm don quixote he's sancho he carries the pack we work out a driver with the hotel we wait there he is it's a cab maybe not off we go. 60 kuai is the deal.
this guy has no idea where he's going he drives around we don't care flat rate he'll find it eventually he stops the car. we're at an on-ramp.
"it's up this ramp."
"ok, go up the ramp."
"i can't, it'll cost money to go through the toll gate."
"i don't understand."
people here speak this fucked-up chinese this ain't beijing and what the fuck a cab driver don't know where the fuck he's going he impatiently explained to me that the gate was gonna cost money and there was no way to turn around so he would have to drive to the next exit and turn around and pay again and all we had to do was walk up the ramp i don't know why i bought it we were new in town i wasn't on my game i forgot that in china everyone's trying to screw you all the time so we paid him and left. he couldn't find the fucking place a cabdriver can't find *the* major expressway so he cashed in. all we had to do was walk up the ramp and look and then pay him but we didn't think of that. like i said, we were new in town.
so we walk up the ramp and what do you know that ain't it what a fuckin surprise.
tune in next time for further adventures.
