that's my mama

where was i i forgot the point that i was making i said if i was smart that i would save up for a piece of string and a rock to wind the string around. everybody wants a rock to wind a piece of string around. here comes the cat she's a psycho cat but you can't blame her she's 9 months old and she's been passed around like a joint at a mos def show.

she's grown accustomed to us though. we sit around and she picks a lap and curls up into a ball. she stretches out on my leg and i stroke the length of her body her head her neck and down her spine her skinny kitty furry body it makes me think of jenny. cheng jun yan beautifully capable and intelligent i want to stroke the length of her feet massage them kiss her tiny buds. i can't stop thinking about this girl i sent an email i can't wait to see you again she said what? you can't wait to see me? why? i will be here i will wait for you in guangzhou perhaps some explanation is in order.

what did we do on saturday june 5 2004 the day after we met we went to bai yun shan white cloud mountain. to all the girls i've loved before i'm sorry if this hurts it's love i feel i gotta express we went with daisy jason trouble jenny amy couldn't make it tooth still hurt. trouble we met at the pool the night before another one of daisy's little boyfriends. lots of fun we walk well first we bus, to the mountain then we walk. up up up what happens naturally it's me and jenny talking. she says everything in english and chinese to best be understood i speak in mandarin. she also teaches me cantonese it's just so free and easy we float along and flow a song we sing our hearts have met a thousand times in lives before who knows we say whatever comes our way we play and learn and what? the others talk while jason watches daisy wants her not to fuck another sorry jason you are doomed to frustrated existence but just stick it out and she'll be yours quite possibly. you are her back-up plan.

oblivious we flow and go until some other interrupts and then we ease back into what we talked about i have no clue. i ask her do you want to go somewhere with me alone tomorrow maybe see a movie she says how about the day after tomorrow hou tian in chinese i say i don't think i can she says why? have you seen it oh! you mean the movie the day after tomorrow yes! let's do it!

walk and talk up to the top and pictures show we made it it got dark as we walked down and we were hungry. still we talked and laughed and who made this poor young chinese girl fit the jigsaw puzzle next to white aristocratic lucky me? we went to dinner all of us and caesar ate some bone again and then we all went back to the hotel.

we opened up the map of china showed them our intended journey oohs and aahs our lives are so exciting. and jenny sitting on my bed and smiling in my eyes she talks of what activities we'll do next day.

yes let's i want to do them all let's ride a boat let's see the road that ancient empires built let's touch the stars.

i want to be with you to do the things you want to do to see you smile like you can do you shine your eyes.

and what is happening to me i can't see any other me except the me with you i see belong.

and so we say goodbye we will enchant eachother's eyes when we again engage our hearts in dancing light.